I think there are two types of people in the world: the ones that believe they know things, no matter what/if they know anything and the ones that believe they don’t know anything, no matter what/if they know. It’s not necessarily high or low self-confidence, it’s just that way you see yourself, knowledgeable or not. The way you understand what you learn and the way you feel about applying what you learn.
I am part of the second category, so to speak. No matter what I do, no matter how good it turns out (most of the things I did turned out from good to very good), I always have this feeling of “I don’t have any clue about what the hell I’m doing” and I feel like a fraud. I am no expert in anything, and no matter how much I learn I just find out that there’s a lot of it I actually don’t know nor will I be able to learn. No matter the topic, choose one, you can not be an expert unless you did, re-did and over-did all those things so many times, but even then, there are others that are better. And even then … is it perfect?
Once again, it’s not low confidence, I am certain that anything can be done with logic, research and common sense. It’s just that, without being an expert in anything, I need validation. I did build some concepts and afterwards did the research and found sources to validate my creation, but even then I had the same feeling – “I have no clue what I’m doing here“.
Take this post for example, it’s far from perfect and doesn’t reflect what I feel properly. But I’m doing it anyway, hoping that nobody will realise that I have no idea about good writing (I am quite good at reading though), and there will be people out there that will appreciate the post, despite my lack of knowledge.
And the academic version of this post: