This phrase came to me while randomly washing my hands in front of a mirror. Yes, the bathroom mirror, isn’t it the place where all epiphanies happen? Anyhow yes, I was washing my hands looking at myself and seeing the skin, hair, clothes, whatever “me” is covered in. and I was thinking, well someone sees me, what do they see? Do they see any of what I really am, do they see what I care about, what I am interested in, what hurts me deeply and what makes me happy?
The answer to the first questions is no. They don’t see any of that, as we don’t tend to carry our real self on the outside. There is nothing on me that says “this girl loves snowboarding and gets all crazy in winter”, what they probably see is a small girl, big glasses, nerdy look, feisty attitude and some weird cockiness. Or whatever, it’s not relevant; it’s changing from person to person anyhow.
So how can you show people who you really are? Does it even matter for them, do they care?
Sadly they don’t. I say sadly but I mean realistically. It would be nice, but very unpractical, for people to care that you are a nice and lovely person, irrelevant of their interaction with you. The others will always judge you or see you based on what you do for them, to them, with them. Basically whatever you can do or do for people makes what they see in you. This is just as simple as that: people will appreciate you – or not – based on what they can get from you. It doesn’t matter you’re a nice, sweet creature, with hopes and dreams and desires if you can’t give anything to people. You have to give something to receive recognition and acceptance.
I hate saying this usually, but these are ways of the world and this is one rule that remains valid if you actually want to live with other people. Even if you live by yourself, you still have to give something to nature in order to get back what you need to survive.